Gorton’s Fisherman Sets Sail for the White House

By Buster Bogtrotter — Political Correspondent Fish stick fans are reeling this week after 170-year-old brand ambassador of Gorton’s Seafood, the Gorton’s Fisherman, announced that he is running for President in 2020.   Since Fisherman’s announcement, detractors have come to the shore, attacking him and his lack of political experience, along with a personal life that […]

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Parley Staff Questions Own Existence

By Ocean Polly Randall, sometimes staff writer When individuals question the purpose & value of their existence, they experience what is known as an existential crisis. Staff members at Parley Publishing, the publishing house at PPCC, announced on Wednesday they are collectively experiencing an existential crisis. “Nobody here at PPCC knows what Parley is, so I’m beginning to […]

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Trump’s Post-Acquittal Clambake

by Buster Bogtrotter, PPCC White House correspondent Less than 24 hours after being acquitted of Impeachment charges, President Trump held a speech in the White House East Room on Thursday. On Wednesday, a disjointed Senate voted on two charges of impeachment — abuse of power and obstruction of Congress — acquitting President Trump of both […]

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